Review: “Apocalypse Rising” Starring Shane Samples

By: John Allen


Every now and then I get stumped. How exactly am I going to review a movie like Apocalypse Rising. It is crude, rude, irreverent, blasphemous, and I suspect the film makers will take that as a compliment. I am not sure exactly what I just watched, but what I can tell you is that it is no worse than the Sharknado series and those are big hits.

Movies like Apocalypse Rising have their place, right along with such gems as Flesh Gordon (not a misprint I promise you, look it up) and Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (yup, also exists)  because they fall into a sub-genre you can’t name. It’s not really Sci-Fi/Comedy/Horror even though it sort of is. The reason I say it isn’t is because these low, low, low, budget movies don’t hold a candle to Ghostbusters, Monster Squad, or Army of Darkness, which, deservedly, own that title. They have much more in common with say Barbarella or Plan 9 From Outer Space. In other words, the creators know exactly what kind of movie they are making and are having a good time doing it. Yes, they have their place. A stoners basement, a Frat pad, guys and gals looking for a rainy day chuckle with a bag of Doritos, bottle of soda-pop, and nothing better to do.

Like some of the aforementioned movies, Apocalypse Rising is a guilty pleasure giggle fest piece of crap, best viewed by people with a juvenile sense of humor, which is why I am inviting a couple of my pals to watch this thing. I knew straight away that this was going to be a tongue in cheek romp. The space ship carrying our hero’s is most definitely. purposefully, phallic. I can honestly say, I never, ever thought I would see a zombie boner or wondered what it would look like, but the makers of Apocalypse Rising did think about that for some reason, with hilarious results. That is about all I can say about that really. There are sex jokes galore! The production values are surprisingly reasonable, something you would see in a Space Channel (SYFY in the US) production of about a decade ago. The acting isn’t bad in fact some of it is pretty good. I mean how do you take this sort of stuff seriously as an actor anyway? You do it for one of three reasons, 1. Your buddy is making this movie and can’t afford known thespians. 2. What the hell? You aren’t doing anything this weekend and it sounds like fun. 3. The cheque didn’t bounce and it kept your agent happy.

I imagine that some viewers with come upon Apocalypse Rising the same way I saw Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, I was hanging out with my friend Mark back in the day, when he hardly is able to contain his laughter says “Dude, you have to see this movie, I can’t believe it got made” It is in these moments though that brotherhoods are bonded, disbelief is shared, and your brain simply says “That’s it. I am outta here.”  For all of these reasons, check out Apocalypse Rising and lose one or two brain cells, you never know, it may just be the next really so bad its good cult classic.

3.5 out 5  Space, religious, procreating, zombie hunters

Like this post? Leave your thoughts!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.